2013: A Year of Rectification

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum wbt.

1. Rectification by definition means 'the act of offering an improvement to replace a mistake, or to set something right, or to make corrections.'

2. Easier to the tongue and our common use, you may equate rectification with CORRECTION.

3. I see 2013 as a year of rectification because at the age of 23 now, I start feeling old more often and occasionally think of my own mortality. Yet, there are so many wrong deeds I committed in the past. Mistakes and failures- some of them may just take place beyond repair.

4. At times, I think people are constantly be reminded that life is transitory, and that we are fallible and weak, and the fact that our gums sometimes bleed when we brush our teeth, all this should do nothing except make us feel closer to God. We are not going anywhere except that we are returning to Him.

5. We shall meet Him. Whether or not we want to, and whether we want to believe or not to, the meeting is REAL.

6. Ultimately we ask this question. Am I prepared?

7. "The day when neither wealth nor children shall benefit (us)."

8. "Except those who comes to Allah with a SOUND HEART (qalbin saleem)." 

-Surah As-Shu'ara: 89

9. A sound and pure heart will not only be achieved through repentance and forgiveness from Allah SWT. He has made it compulsory to ask forgiveness from our fellow mankind too. 

10. I hope you are kind enough (to forgive), because the word 'mankind' must refer to the fact that man is indeed kind.

11.  Hence this post.

12. Rest assured, insya Allah for as far as I am concerned, whoever you are out there, friends and foes (never really wish to have foes, but just in case) I have forgiven all of you and hope to continuously do so till the day I breathe my last.

13. Revenge and resistance to forgive is not good for my health I believe, because it's like imprisonment, whereby the prisoner is a kind of fire, which is wild, furious and definitely hard to control. It's therefore better to just LET GO.

14. So I am here to apologize. With sincerest apologies.

15. Before I do so, (felt like I already did hehe) let me point out three funny yet weird things we may think about forgiveness.

16. First, forgiveness is only offered, made and asked for during Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

17. Maaf Zahir Batin.

18. Not quite right. We ask forgiveness from Allah SWT (even beloved Muhammad SAW did) everyday. The same goes to forgiveness among us men and women alike. Says Muhammad SAW, those who do not love, will not be loved.

19. Let's love to forgive.

20. Secondly, forgiveness is a symbol of defeat. Boo!

21. It definitely is not true. At all.

22. The true yet strongest enemy of us is our self. Our anger, greed and ego.

23. If we forgive, we have won over this enemy. Effectively, one who forgives is a true warrior indeed. It's a victory, not a defeat.

24. Lastly and this is most important to me. Forgiveness is not only made because we feel that death is near! The same goes to apologies. 

25. Though in reality, who on earth can run away from death? In fact, every breath we take takes us closer to death. 

26. So please throw away such a mindset. I don't plan to forgive or apologize now because I want to tell you that I am going to die soon. But I never deny that it may happen. To me and even everyone of you. 

27. That's the nature of death- it doesn't care how old or how young you are. There is no break when death comes, even while you are munching your Kit Kat chocolate bar.

28. Now let's begin the apologizethon (a marathon of apologies)! Warning: Please don't use this word elsewhere. Apologizethon is not to be found anywhere in the dictionary.

29. It's less than half an hour before midnight (as I am writing now). And it's gonna be February already!

30. So I have to cancel my plan to name every single person I want to apologize from due to an unavoidable time constraint that restricts me from going on with the initial plan.

31. At least, let me mention here that I am highly indebted to those of you who are reading now and you know who you are.

32. You know really well that I have fallen short in many ways and I always fail badly when it comes to relationship. I think I may be the worst friend or company anyone would ever have. Really.

33. Dear one who reads this, just wanna say I am sorry and I love you.

34. Just before I end, my final reminder would be this. We may judge the world most of the time through what we may see with the limited senses we have- so it may be half true, rather than absolutely true.

35. My confession and effort to apologize here is especially directed towards those who have always had good and well impression about me.

36. Thank you very much but by the name of Allah, who alone owns my very weak soul, I may not be like what you really think I am.  

37. My prayers to Allah that any good thought people have about me will not be a cause to my destruction nor a cause to my being forgetful of His infinite favors upon me ameen ameen ya Rabbal 'alamiinn..

Wallahuaklam. Wassalamualaikum wbt.

"O Allah, please do not punish me for what they say about me, make me good and well like what they assume me to be, and please forgive me for what they do not know and have no knowledge about."