I am old and I am in a relationship

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum wbt.

1. Ramadhan is very near. 

2. Unlike many of us (me included), the companions of Nabi SAW will pray to Allah SWT that they will be able to live until the month of Ramadhan even 6 months before the month came.

3. What is quite astonishing for me is to know that after Ramadhan, they will spend another six month to pray to Allah SWT asking that their ibadah and good deeds be accepted and rewarded by Allah SWT.

4. What that means is that it was a continuous one-whole year full of prayers i.e non-stop!

5. It is therefore absolutely true that one of the best ways to become a good Muslim is by studying the life of the pious people, which of course, would never exclude the biography of the greatest teacher of all, Prophet Muhammad SAW.

6. We all can emulate them, so why don't we?

7. It's already one month plus since I enrolled in UiTM and alhamdulillah, so far everything was not good, because instead of good, it was very awesome rather!

8. I bet I am the oldest student in the faculty, or at least, one of.

9. The environment is totally different, because being surrounded by many people who are much younger than I am, I have a feeling that it helps develop a fatherly characteristic in me- perhaps a good sign that I am getting married. Err..

10. I just want to comment on one thing- which I hope some of you readers out there are actually my juniors (though at the same time classmates) in UiTM.

11. Since I was in primary school, (alhamdulillah) I have been granted with numerous privilege to hold a number of leadership positions, almost everywhere I went to.

12. That didn't exclude programmes or workshops that I attended in the past.

13. They definitely provided me with strong grounds to learn and acquire priceless experience in leadership and management, not to forget their great contributions in developing my self-maturity and the sense of 'being old'.

14. However here's the thing. 

15. If because of my age, and perhaps the seemingly maturity that may emanate from the way I behave, it definitely is not the best reason to make me a leader of yours in UiTM, even in position as trivial as a class representative.

16. I believe that university is, like schools, a perfect place to learn new things in life before we all start working.

17. So, the way I see it, if I were to allow myself to monopolize everything, and that is perceived as  being 'considerate' (because others don't have to think about it then), the truth is actually quite the opposite!

18. If I were to be considerate, despite my possibly higher capability and greater experience at my age, I should have avoided all positions in the class and other form of groupings instead!

19. Why? Because at your age my dear, say, at 18-19 years old, you should have grabbed the chance and given yourself the opportunity to learn and take responsibilities in life rather than giving them to me- which will not only help you develop your self-discipline, but never less important also is to boost your own self-esteem and self-confidence!

20. This is the way I look at it but I don't have problems if you disagree. And for that adik-adik, please take it as if I don't exist there in the first place (only in this aspect though- don't completely ignore me or I'll cry with cuteness haha). I can't afford to take away the chance and space that you should have had, had I not been in UiTM in your batch right now.

21. I mean, if there's one thing I understand about being mature, it is exactly what I have mentioned above. Just because I had the experience here and there in the past, doesn't make me in any way superior than you guys that I can simply show off and transcend others in many things I want to do here in university.

22. In other words, I already had my chance last time (though in different places) and I cherish those moments a lot. Now I have to focus on the next phase of my life, and the real battle ground for me next is the working place instead, certainly not this place called university. Because otherwise, the best title I would be crowned with is only a pathetic 'jaguh kampung'. 

23. You guys instead, please do not find excuse. The opportunities are all yours ;-)

In a relationship

24. Before I end, I also want to touch on another point.

25. That normally, if we have a friend, especially one who is of the opposite gender, and we are always with him or her at many times and often also at many places, people around us will speculate that we are dating him or her.

26. And we feel comfortable by this sort of rumor and scandal. Oh, we are now 'in a relationship'.

27. It's quite sickening though, if you think about it, because this is a form of relationship which is built solely upon speculation and feeling and emotion and all other things that are simply brittle and most of the time short-termed.

28. Let me therefore suggest an alternative for us. What about using the same 'formula' for the Quran?

29. What does it feel to have a relationship with the Quran instead? That everywhere we go, people see us with an Al-Quran.

30. I tried. Not only that it may be something weird- a rare view for most passers-by and 'strangers' in the public, but I myself  personally find it quite awkward too (initially), to for instance, recite Quran or even just to open the book and read the translation of verses from it in places like a bus stop.

31. I mean, again, why is it that this type of relationship so new and awkward to us now?

32. Here are my final remarks.

33. At the end of my entry, I always try to ensure that there will be something we can practice in our daily life, based on what I have written. Because practice will not only last longer, it is also life-changing and insya Allah, be counted and rewarded by Allah SWT The Most High.

34. First, improve our relationship with Allah SWT, that we make prayers or supplication (doa) as something we endlessly practice in our daily life. The second, is to improve the relationship with our own selves i.e to give us more opportunities to actively learn rather than to be passive at most of the time.

35. Lastly, is to increase the relationship between us and the Quran, so that insya Allah, our hearts will always be soft and softened by it ameen ameen ameen.

36. Maybe it's good that we set a target to khatam or finish reading the whole Quran within 1 month in Ramadhan, and that's approximately 20 pages a day, which is equal to 4 pages only per prayer time (we have 5 times of fardh prayers a day right?).

"And We have certainly made the Quran easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember?"
(Surah Al-Qamar, ayat 17)

37. Really, I am missing home. Love my mom. Miss my dad. And love my family. Their love is the best of love I could get on earth, after that of Allah SWT and Rasulullah SAW. Thanks for reading my dear. Family first!

Wallahuaklam. Wassalamualaikum wbt.

I miss you ma. Really! ;_ )