The Day I Die (1990-????)

Death is permanent. It surely happens to all souls that feel lives. But in this post of ‘The Day I die,’ I on the contrary, will talk only about the days I have lived and to be lived, as I believe, it is my responsibility to do so when I am still alive, because the baton (to share about my autobiography) will be passed to someone else when I am already dead (obviously dead body can’t post on blog =p). After all, the best judgment is one that people make instead of us, and the best judgment is one that is made once we are dead. ;-)

A smooth and lovely sound of drizzling broke the silence of the dawn of the first day of Syawal this year, Friday, 10 September 2010. The day was just like the way it was in all other previous years except that the color of my ‘Baju Melayu’ (Malay custom garment for male) this year is turquoise. The normal routine was followed, breakfast, Raya Prayer and Takbir at the mosque, then ‘apology session’ with parents and family, plus not to forget visits to houses of relatives and friends. Everything was fine until near afternoon.

I had an unusual stomachache and it lasted even until after Friday prayer. It worsened and until we reached grandma’s abode, I could hold it no more. I vomited and was weakened badly throughout the day. At night, mom helped me eat and she spoon fed me haha and no it was not a funny part of the story until after I recovered and think back about it. Only 2 days later, I was back to normal, but skinnier of course. Sigh~ What a Raya it was.

The whole thing reminded me of where I come from and how I lived my previous life. There are too many things to write about my own tiny little world, but I better start writing about some of them so that whatever lessons it could give, it will remain that way even after I died- the same concept used to describe eternal beauty in Sonnet 18. ;-)

When I was 5, our family had a visit to state museum but something happened to me (which I bet remains a mystery until now) that I couldn’t even walk (half-paralyzed, if you will). I think that was when my dad realized that I need some kind of nurturing physically. Here comes another character, my eldest brother, Along (Ridzwan Hanaffi, on Facebook). We both are different in a way that he has everything that a real sportsman needs. His track record was excellent. Since in primary school, he was the champions in events namely cross country tournaments and long-runs, captains of soccer and futsal teams, bla bla bla you name it, and he had it all. All of which were inherited from my dad, a once takraw player who had experience playing even in Singapore back then in those P.Ramlee days. I, of course was quite the opposite.

Consequently, my dad brought me into the school’s football team, being a coach himself, and I was a captain too. I struggled hard in this new life endeavor and secured a number of commendable achievements I will remember all my life. Then it took me few years until I was enrolled to the Malay College Kuala Kangsar (MCKK), where I got to know my real talent.  I was in Form 3 (2005) when I had to decide between a debating team or a soccer team (after nearly 3 years in both teams), and yes I chose the former.

The real journey then began. My encounter with a group of legends (in both intellect and oratory skill) changed my life significantly. Cutting this short, some of them are still around now and never fail to become great inspirations while some others have gone earlier leaving behind a never-ending admiration unto them and exemplary achievements to be proud of. I feel so lucky to be in the MCKK debate coaching family now, and yet, there are many things to do to prove my worth being part of them. May Allah bless us all and assist us along the way, to maintain the legacy of intellectuality and charisma.

Long ago I shot my bow
Where it fell I didn’t know
Much later in a huge great oak
I picked it up still unbroke

- Al-Fatihah to the late (Arwah) Adlan Benan Omar (1973- 2008)-

I am whom I was and will always be me. I was hospitalized 2 times in the past, with one same reason- lack of rest. One was in 2005, when I was busy with debate training and the other in 2008, while having PLKN (National Service) training in Selangor, also because of a packed and hectic schedule plus continuous hard work. My other problem (according to my mom) is bad diet. I eat very little, or even if a lot, usually not enough to support my heavy-duty lifestyle. 

But I never want to stop. Once again as always, I am physically challenged. It helps me explore my limits and it makes me satisfied though at times I failed and fell. Ups and downs in life, they are true friends, true teachers.

Looking forward, I believe the future that lies ahead of me is even tougher and challenging. Now, my focus is to get a real grip as a medical student while polishing on other life-long skills by holding a position in Muslim Society (MSOC), a student’s association in International Medical University (IMU) Bukit Jalil. And next year, everything will be accelerated. A whole new debating team will be established to battle on behalf of our prestigious college, the king of schools, the school of kings.

By midyear in 2011, the post (MSOC’s President) will be handed over to a new one, and to keep a momentum of hard work and mind-squeezing lifestyle, I plan to challenge myself by joining the IMU English debating club. By right, that should also provide me some added values to coach the MCKK debating teams. If everything goes well then, I always pray to Allah the Almighty God, that in everything I do, I am sincere at it, and before I die, I truly hope that I can benefit many people, be it by directly helping them, or by being an inspiration to them, the same way some people have been to me.

One day, the day I die, I hope I have fulfilled all my promises and may I die with peace, faith and pride.

Amiin~